Thursday, February 09, 2012

Junk Food’s Fantastic Voyage


I thought this was going to be a duh-files experiment but it’s actually super cool. First off, the technology is mega rad--basically a tiny submarine that travels through your GI tract, not so unlike the 60’s Sci-Fi classic Fantastic Voyage, sadly minus Raquel Welch (though the narrator does have a sultry voice).

The incentive for this project is to try and present unseen and often veiled information about our food system in unexpected ways so that the public is armed with as much information as possible so that they can make informed decisions about their food."
- Food researcher Stefani Bardin

Then there’s what we learn, which is probably better defined as scary and takes junk food vilification to a whole new level. You hear us break down the obvious reasons to steer clear of processed foods based on simple nutrition (lots of sugar, lack of fiber, micro, and phytonutrients, etc). While providing no lack of ammo, it pales in comparison to evaluating chemicals that shouldn’t be in foods in the first place like, um, oil, sand and gas. And we’re not talking about canola and the magical fruit, either, but a full blow Exxon Valdez on the world’s supermarkets.

Petrochemicals. They’re not just for cars anymore! Now you can make them an integral part of your diet so that your food really stays with you!
- The campaign slogan rumored to have cost Darrin Stephen’s his job

Seriously, that’s the coolest finding in this study; showing how oil by-products don’t allow your body to use foods properly. I suppose this wouldn’t be shocking to anyone, really. In fact, it's likely why food company lawyers have made it legal not to divulge petrochemical inclusions in foods as proprietary secrets because, you know, other companies could copy them and cut into their earnings. I'm sure that's because, probably just like you, if I knew motor oil should be in food I’d stop buying all that expensive hoity-toity olive oil and just spritz a little 30 weight on my pasta. Um, yeah.

And now please enjoy our feature presentation!

12 comments:

D Faye said...

Heh heh heh. She said, "mouth to anus."

Steve Edwards said...

I think she trademarked it. Serious.

Pele dos Santos said...

I like her hair-do.

Josh said...

First of all, clearly that whole thing is made up. I mean, if oil was bad for us don't you think the government would make sure we didn't eat it. Are you some kind of friggin' right-wing nut? You still wearing your aluminum foil hat? Secondly, and more importantly, Ramen is like $0.10/package. Who the fuck thinks there's anything good in that? It's a Strawman argument. That's like eating dogshit and saying, "jeezo, people probably shouldn't eat dogshit."

I do think the blue gatorade was cool. I mean who doesn't want blue guts?

The soundtrack was sublime.

Klaus said...

So do I. But Steve called her first.

P.K. Dick said...

I liked the robotic voice. I wonder if androids dream about robotic sheep.

Tyrell said...

The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long.

Tricia said...

Josh, I agree with everything you posted except one. Do you really think the government cares about us? Dude, we could all be ingesting arsenic and they wouldn't notice.

GW said...

Her methods were impressive but I don't think the test design was well thought out.

The video trek down the tube follows a noodle mass. Of course! If you take dried pasta and steep it for two minutes that is what I'd expect. An adequate control would have been a equivalent whole grain dried pasta cooked for the same amount of time (or until al dente).

As for the blue gatorade--look at your tongue and it's probably blue too. Eat enough carrots and your shit will turn orange.

Nifty technology? Yes.

Real value? Little to none.

Anonymous said...

Naive

dave24 said...

Josh your wrong. You are not very educated on how our food is made anymore. Its about mass production and hoe cheap it can be made. They allow arsenic in apple juice. Processed foods are made to look good taste good and be horrible for our body. Its all about money to the FDA and goverement

dave24 said...

It was a sample of how processed foods are these days. They us petrolum for crying out loud. Arsenic in apple juice anymore. Itss all about the money. FDA and goverement only see dollar signs